A Fighting Chance
by FangirlFlo
Summary: "For Ethan, this was it. He finally found what to say and how to tell her to not give up on them. Not just yet. And not like this." An alternative ending for Penny Dreadful. Multi-chapter story. Starts at 3x09. Because we all deserved better, but especially Miss Ives and Mr. Chandler. Original story arch complete. I will probably post more chapters but not in a chronological order.
1. Chapter 1: Stay

_Disclaimer: A great part of this first chapter is a transcription from the dialogue at 3x09. I do not own the characters of the story, although I wish I did. Sadly, they all belong to John Logan. Don't get me wrong, I love the first two seasons of Penny Dreadful. I just wish he had ended it the same way he marvelously crafted seasons 1 & 2\. _

_Thank you Leah, Mai and Carolin for proofreading this chapter for me. I definitely couldn't have done this without you!_

 **Chapter 1: Stay**

 _"Funny you are the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving. 'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"_ Stay - Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko

Still panting from sneaking away, in a rush from the battle downstairs, Ethan opens the door to a confined room. There's a small hallway and a circular room at the end, both of them filled with candles. In the center of that room, is the person everyone is fighting for.

Ethan walks down very slowly to her and when she's almost close enough to reach, she turns around.

"It hurts me more than I thought it would... seeing you."

Hurt. That's the word she used. HURT. That's what he has done to her, the woman he loves. He's suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of guilt, but the urgency to get her somewhere safe wins over it.

"You need to come with me... now." Ethan says rather urgently.

"And go where? They will hunt me to the end of days." Vanessa replies.

The resignation in her voice is almost too much for him to bear.

"I can protect you." He assures her.

"No, you can't. No one can."

"Then we'll fight him."

"It's not him, it's me. Look at me. This is what I am. And this is what I've done. Brought this terrible darkness to the world." Even through her pained words, she looks like a dark goddess. She'll always be beautiful in Ethan's eyes.

"Vanessa. Please." How can he not beg her?

"Vanessa. And where is she? When did we lose her, Ethan? She was standing in a quiet room, gazing up at a cross. She reached out, took it from the wall... and put it in the fire. And then she was lost. And so alone."

"You are not alone. You never were. I have stood at the very edge. I have looked into the abyss. If I'd taken one more step, I would have fallen. But no matter how far I ran away from God, he was still waiting ahead."

Vanessa is momentarily taken aback by this statement. Here they were. It seemed like the world had turned upside down. Since when was he the believer, trying to convince HER to have faith? What had happened to him all these months they spent apart?

"Not for me."

"For us all."

Again. His certainty. Is she missing something?

"My battle must end. You know that. Or there will never be peace on Earth. Let it end."

"Don't ask it."

"I don't have to. You know you have a destiny. It's why we first met. It's why you're here now. You must help me defeat the forces of darkness and deny them their prize for all time."

"No!"

NOT AGAIN. His rage is almost blinding. Why are they are in this situation AGAIN?

"Please... Ethan." She starts whimpering "Let it end."

Suddenly he's back in her room at Grandage Place, pointing a gun at her heart, her lip smeared with blood and her begging, tearful eyes looking at him. He needs to figure something out NOW.

"With a kiss." Vanessa says, interrupting his thoughts.

Her request is so simple yet so deep, his eyes water. He won't ever deny her a kiss. Ever again.

"With a kiss. With love."

"With Love." She agrees.

When their mouths meet, Vanessa almost wavers in her decision. They are so made for one another, like two halves of a whole: their difference in height; his roughness, her softness; two beautiful opposites coming together. But she knows if she keeps on going, more people are going to get hurt and this is the only way.

For Ethan, this was it. He finally found what to say and how to tell her to not give up on them. Not just yet. And not like this.

He breaks the kiss and says vehemently:

"Vanessa, you need to listen to me. Please hear me out. I know that I hurt you in more ways that I could have ever imagined when I left, but that was never my intention and now it's not the time for me to ask your forgiveness. I know I said I would always protect you and be by your side, and what hurts me the most is that I lost not only your affection but your trust. However, on my way back to London, I learned something that Sir Malcom and everyone in our family should have told us before we went to the Witches' mansion. Before Sembene..." His voice breaks. "…Sembene died, he told me I had been chosen by God. I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but on our voyage back to London, I had a conversation with Sir Malcom and I told him everything. When he heard what Sembene told me, something clicked inside him and he started updating me on everything they found out about the monk locked up in the cellar. Remember the translation we were all working on a few months ago?" Vanessa nods, still teary eyed but not crying. "That whole premonition said God had cast out Lucifer and his brother out of heaven. The only way for either the Devil or his brother to regain their place of origin is to find the mother of darkness."

Vanessa interrupts him, exasperated. "I know all this! Why do you think I'm asking you to do this? If I die, we will take away their prize, we will save humanity and we will stop my torment."

Ethan, equally upset, replies: "For Fucks' sake, let me finish! The monk also discovered that God sent someone to help whoever took the place of the mother of evil. A hound or, in other words, the wolf of God. He's supposed to be capable of at least keeping them at bay, if not destroying them." He pauses, trying to let her catch up with this. He starts begging: "Vanessa...please. I remember a time when you didn't want your life to be determined by a prophecy or destiny. Even if the whole thing is bullshit, including you being the mother of evil, at least let me try. I think we can win this. I believe that I carry this curse, for a reason. Please. Don't let this all be in vain, all these people that I killed when I transformed and I didn't know what was going on."

Vanessa sees the pain and feels it in his voice. All the guilt he's constantly carrying around, this weight on his shoulders. But now he has a newfound sense of purpose...what the hell happened to this man in the months they spent apart?

"You defeated the devil before...why not his brother? I know it sounds ironic coming from me, but I have faith we can do this" That's all he's got. He starts praying internally that this will convince her.

Vanessa's will is shaken; she can't seem to ignore this newfound information. She's still determined to stop this once and for all, but now she's figured out a new plan.

"Okay Ethan, what you are saying makes sense. When I saw you back at the witches' house, you somehow weren't able to attack me even though just minutes ago you had killed Sembene." Ethan breaks her gaze when hearing this. "Still this needs to end now; I can't stand this much longer. So I need you to promise me something. We shall go fight Dracula side by side, like you proposed." Ethan's hopeful eyes look back at her. "BUT…" She pauses. "If we can't defeat him and it seems the world is definitely ending, you need to promise me that you will do what I originally asked you. If you are not alive, I will do it myself. But I'm not going down without a fight."

Ethan can't believe his ears. He wants to drop to his knees and hug her and thank her but a sudden scream from downstairs bursts the little bubble they were submerged into. They both start planning what to do before the full moon rises again.

 **A/N:** First of all, I started this story in order to heal. My heart was broken (to say the least) with the way the show ended; all the characters deserved better, ESPECIALLY Vanessa. I was unsure of posting it because I don't have any special writing skills, but the ending was so unfair to me that I decided to overcome this fear and give the characters "the justice they deserved". I hope this multi-chapter story can help others heal too. Second, English is not my first language, so I'm sorry in advance if you find any mistakes. Third, this is supposed to be a multi-chapter story surrounding Ethan and Vanessa, I don't feel confident enough to include the other characters. I will try to post the updates as soon as I find the time to keep writing. Last but not least, reviews and shares are most welcome; I'd love to know what you thought, including constructive criticism.


	2. Chapter 2: Sorry

_Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Dreadful or any characters of this show._

 _Big shout-out to Leah, Carolin and Mai for proofreading this for me, it meant everything._

 **Chapter 2: Sorry**

 _"All we need is hope and for that we have each other." Andra Day-Rise Up_

Ethan had a sleep full of dreams, with flashes of the battle against Dracula. All of these flashes had Vanessa in them, not being able to recall anything else when he is a werewolf: Vanessa hurrying everyone out; Vanessa fighting off familiars using _Verbis Diablo_ ; Vanessa almost getting killed by Dracula when she refused to follow his command. He feels he must have killed hundreds of Dracula's followers but he's not entirely certain. He is certain he killed Dracula, when he saw Vanessa's _Verbis Diablo_ was not causing the desired effect and her life was threatened.

Guilt starts rushing over him, not being sure if he hurt her or anyone else in their family. Ethan wakes up, feeling eyes upon him.

"Shh Ethan it's okay, I'm here." He recognizes Vanessa's voice.

She is sitting in a chair right beside his bed, dressed in a light blue dress. The sun was coming in through the drapes…what time was it? Was that sunrise or sunset? He didn't have much time to focus on that, as he notices Vanessa, calm and safe, something quite opposite of what he had encountered the previous night.

"Did I injure you or anyone of our group?" His voice sounds hoarse and dry, like he hadn't had a drink of water in months.

"No, don't worry, we are all fine." She assures him.

That's when he notices a scratch on her arm, almost touching her wrist. He's invaded by a feeling of pain, much stronger than guilt.

"Did I do that to you?" He asks, pointing at her arm, afraid to hear the answer.

"This? Oh no, stop blaming yourself. Dr. Sweet…" She corrects herself with a cough. "I mean Dracula did this to me when he was trying to make me go with him. But it's over Ethan. We defeated him. We actually did it together." She smiles, pleased with herself.

He smiles back at her full force and out of nowhere, they both start laughing. Once they start, they can't stop, trying to gasp for air as tears of joy start rolling down their faces. Ethan can't believe she's actually laughing with him, never imagining this after the battle.

Reading his thoughts, Vanessa's mood changes and her tears of joy become real tears and she throws herself into his arms. Ethan is stunned by this unexpected change, doesn't really know what to do, so he just strokes her hair and whispers into her ear: "Shhh you're okay, we are both okay."

"You might think me foolish, I know, but you slept for so many days that I thought you might never wake up again." Vanessa's face is hidden in his neck. Ethan keeps stroking her hair. "I couldn't believe that after I JUST got you back, you were going to leave me again"

Ethan felt guilt rushing over him once more but at the same time relieved that they were finally talking.

He sighs and whispers: "Vanessa, I'm never leaving you again, not ever. I promise."

She feels her tense and she draws back from him. He immediately misses her weight on his body. How can he make her trust him again? Vanessa sits backs on the chair and interrupts his thoughts.

"I want to believe you Ethan. I do. But before you left you also swore to me that you were my protector and that as long as you lived you were never going to leave me, and then you did just that. Ethan, before the fight against Dracula, all I remember is your back. Walking towards the door, not even glancing back. I know you might have had your reasons, but you broke my heart when you wrote that letter of goodbye. You left without explaining yourself; and for a while, for all I knew, you could be dead, or in prison, or anywhere else." She sighs and continues, wringing her hands nervously. "Getting over your departure was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and I don't know if I could do that again."

Ethan is at loss for words. Silence stands between them and for a while none of them say anything. A single tear rolls down Ethan's eye, not believing that he did this to HER. VANESSA. The woman he loved. But that's the thing. He never showed this to her. Not in an obvious way at least, but he was so frightened at the intensity of his feelings for her, that the only course of action for him was to hide it. And he knew that she was afraid too. But like in every other situation they found themselves in, she was the one that took the risk of voicing out loud what she really wanted with him. To run away. To be themselves and loving that. Their whole selves. Day by day being less afraid. The problem was that at that time he was blind with grief and guilt. He loved her, he really did, but he was so afraid of hurting her that he chose to pay for his crimes...look where that led them.

But this needs to stop. Now he knows better. All that guilt and shame did none of them any good. If he kept feeling sorry for himself and concentrating on the "what ifs", they would never be able to progress. He needs to make her trust him again, and if she lets him, he wants to earn her love.

"Vanessa, for what is worth, I'm sorry. I really am. You cannot even imagine how awful I feel for breaking your heart and losing your trust. But I promise that I will do everything I can to earn back your trust." He was about to say earn your love back, but after everything they both went through in their time apart, he didn't want to spook her. "At least as your partner in this fight against darkness. You need to recognize that we make a good team." He jokes trying to make her laugh again.

She gives him a side smile, and exhales a little laugh. "Too soon to answer." She answers rather mysteriously. "Now let me bring you some dinner, you need to gain your strength back." And with that, she leaves the room.

While he waits for Vanessa to come back, Ethan starts figuring out a plan to win her back.

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading, it means a lot! And thank you for all the comments, shares and reviews I'm getting here but specially on Twitter (just in case, I'm fangirlFlo). I'm open to suggestions, ideas, reviews, comments or any kind of constructive criticism. Promise things will start looking up on the next chapter (enough spoilers for now).


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Dreadful or any of the characters from it._

 _Thank you Mai for all the support and Leah for proofreading this for me. It means the world to me!_

 **Chapter 3:**

 **I can't escape this now unless you show me how**

" _I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you. But with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide."_ Demons - Imagine Dragons.

Vanessa hadn't seen Ethan so restless in a veeeery long time. After two more days of recovery, he seemed to have a lot of built up energy that he needed to burn. She saw him coming and going in the house, in between her therapy sessions and her meetings with Caitriona, but he wouldn't tell her what he was doing. She knew he was up to something, but she didn't want to push him. They were rebuilding their relationship almost from scratch, keeping each other company and talking occasionally, so she didn't want to ruin their fragile peace.

One night, she woke up at midnight feeling thirsty after having a nightmare that involved Dr. Sweet. Vanessa decided to go to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. As she was walking down the stairs, she heard stirring noises, like someone was preparing a dish. Who on earth was doing something like this at this ungodly hour?

Ethan was so focused on mixing the ingredients, that it took him a while to notice Vanessa watching him at the entrance of the kitchen. He saw from the corner of his eye her stunned face and he promised himself there would come a day where she wouldn't be surprised finding him cooking for her. Ethan decided to break her out of her thoughts by saying with a smile on his face:

"You weren't supposed to see this until later. You're kind of ruining the surprise."

Vanessa smiled back at him, entered the kitchen and fetched the glass of water. She sat across from him as she said: "What are you preparing?"

"I'm making a dessert my sister used to cook for me. I wanted to prepare it for you so you could have it for breakfast" he said.

Oooh okay. So this was what all the fuss was about. Vanessa couldn't help but beam.

"Your sister...you never mentioned her before." She said.

"Yeah well...Beth died before I arrived here in London for the first time, so..." Ethan started to feel his throat constricting and his eyes welling up. Vanessa noticed the change in him so she reached across the table and caressed his hand.

"I'm sorry; I never would have said anything to upset you. We don't have to talk about this anymore if it makes you sad."

Ethan's first instinct would have been to just stop talking about Beth and distract Vanessa with something else. He always hid from powerful emotions; actually the word he should actually use is RUN. He ran away from every deep feeling he ever had, but if he wanted Vanessa to trust him again, he needed to do better. He was going to give them the chance to talk about everything, to really face both of their demons. It seemed that tonight, after all, it was his turn to face them.

"No, actually, I do wanna tell you about her. I didn't want this meal to be gloomy, but it seems we sometimes can't escape that, can we?" He said giving her a side smile. "It's just hard for me to talk about her last day, but I will tell you everything. Beth was a ray of sunshine in the dark pit that was my home and she deserves to be remembered for who she was, not just how she died."

Vanessa nodded and gave his hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

Ethan started by the darkest part: her death. While he was stirring the different ingredients, he told Vanessa everything about it with the respect it deserved; contrary to what his father had done to him. He also included his unwanted involvement in it, and couldn't help the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

When he placed the cake in the oven, he sat down across from Vanessa and started telling about happy memories with her little sister: how she always knew how to make him smile even when he was mad, the way she calmed everyone in their family, times they rode horses together and what she cooked for him.

"I really hope I can live up to her cooking skills...at least by not burning the dessert." And they both started laughing.

Vanessa, sensing he finished, started to talk.

"Thank you Ethan...for cooking for me and, especially, for sharing all of this with me."

"You're welcome my lady. The dessert will soon be ready and you'll be the judge of it." He teased.

Vanessa decided to keep talking, afraid he would soon put his charming mask on and wouldn't want to continue navigating deep waters:

"Ethan, I know what it's like to blame yourself for the death of a loved one, especially a sister. I blame myself for Mina's death..." Ethan opened his mouth to contradict her but she quickly remarked. "Please let me finish. This is hard for me to say..." She sighed. "And I know what you will say, Sir Malcolm knew what he was doing and Mina was beyond saving. But I'm not referring specifically to the Grand Guignol incident. Someday I will explain myself better, but my point is...after years of self-loathing for what I've done to Mina, I realized I was going nowhere. I've come to believe that we should honor the example of those we loved that have left us and try to live up to what they meant to us, or what they generated in our lives. If it's us who have to remain on Earth, let's try to channel all our pain and self-loathing into something they would be proud of. At least that's what I figured out after some months of therapy..."

Ethan was astonished. He was not expecting something like this. Actually, nothing about the dessert plan turned out the way he thought. He didn't know why he subconsciously wanted to avoid sad topics with her. That's what she does best. Not only does she take your pain and make it hers, but she uses her own darkness to cushion yours. She has been through hell and back and that has earned her a different sensitivity to things, and a special kind of beauty that goes far deeper than her looks.

The only words that his mouth could conjure up to hide his shock and subsequent devotion for her are: "Therapy?"

"Yes, I've been seeing a doctor who helps me find the tools to deal with my...problems, let's say..."

Now it was his turn to wonder what else had happened in all those months they spent apart. But that's when he realized how much time had passed as he started sensing a sweet smell.

"I want to know more about your therapy buuuut... I think the cake is ready." He said as he took the cake out of the oven.

Ethan started giving the final touches to it, and Vanessa asked:

"Does this dessert have a name?"

"Yes, it's called Angel's food. Appropriate for your angelic condition." he said with a smirk.

She laughed out loud as her cheeks started burning: "Oh my goodness that's cheesy, even coming from you."

"Give me a break. I've been cooking all night." He said, grinning from ear to ear.

Ethan handed her a plate and they both gave the dessert a try.

"Wow, Ethan this is really good. I'm sure Beth would be proud of you."

He answered her with a delighted look.

They enjoyed the cake in amicable silence, feeling comfortable with one another and pleased with each other's company.

 **A/N:** Thanks for all the support I'm getting here and on Twitter. Every constructive criticism and review helps. I forgot to mention that, in Chapter 2, a part of Vanessa's dialogue was inspired by a song and a line from the show "Friends". The song is "Piece by Piece" by Kelly Clarkson. And the episode of "Friends" is the one where Monica leaves Richard for the second time and she says something about getting over him.


	4. Chapter 4: I choose both

_Disclaimer: I wish Vanessa and Ethan belonged to me *sighs*. Penny Dreadful and all its characters belong to John Logan and Showtime._

 _Again, I need to thank Mai and Lea. "A Fighting Chance" would not be alive without them._

 **Chapter 4: I choose both**

" _Every minute gets easier, the more you talk to me. You rationalize my darkest thoughts, you set them free." Take me home – Jess Glynne_

Vanessa woke up covered in a blanket, lying at the sofa of Grandage Place's living room. How did she end up sleeping there? She moved her head a little to the side and found her Tennyson poetry book on the coffee table and, suddenly, all the memories from last night came back to her.

Yesterday, after the dinner Kaetenay prepared, everyone was so full that they decided to go to bed right after it. She and Ethan, being the night owls they were, decided to do something relaxing and chose to keep each other company while reading by the fire. Vanessa was already reading something but Ethan wanted to start something new. They spent half an hour trying to decide. Ethan made jokes and snarky comments while she tried, in between laughs, to suggest something that might fit his taste. After Ethan FINALLY picked one, they both went to the living room. Ethan arranged the fire while Vanessa poured both of them a drink. Although tempted to sit by her side on the big sofa, he decided not to push his luck and sat on the individual couch. They must have spent hours like that, both in their own literary universe, while, at the same time, keeping each other company. She must have fallen asleep and Ethan, being the gentleman he was, put a blanket over her and went to his bedroom.

The clock marked 7 am. She wanted to go out, so she decided to grab some breakfast and get ready to leave. After leaving the kitchen, she was surprised to find Ethan's room empty. It was still early and the last time she checked the clock last night, they were still reading at 3am. Wondering about Ethan's whereabouts, she put on a violet dress, grabbed a coat and headed for the door.

Ethan loved November's weather. It was freezing compared to his hometown, but the cold really helped clear his mind so he could think. He was so immersed in the feeling of fulfillment this temperature gave him that, when he opened the door to Grandage Place, he bumped into Vanessa. His steady hands around her arms and his quick reflexes were the two things that prevented both of them to end up on the floor.

"Wohooo, Mr Chandler." She said, half laughing.

"Sorry Miss Ives, I was deep in reflection and I didn't notice you were at the door." He paused, noticing their closeness, and stared at her lips.

Vanessa, sensing the same thing, coughed nervously and he took a step back.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, I was just heading somewhere." She said, rather mysteriously.

At her cryptic response, he gave her a side smile, started unbuttoning his coat and said:

"Don't let me keep you."

"Actually...do you want to join me? I think this is something that you'd enjoy"

Ethan, content with the idea of going out of the house with her, answered:

"It will be my pleasure."

They walked side by side, both of them enjoying the gentle morning breeze. Vanessa started to voice her previous wonderings:

"Ethan, if I may ask, where did you wander off so early?"

"Vanessa, you may ask. Feel free to ask me anything." He paused, letting her absorb that idea. "I was at church. Actually I didn't exactly set foot inside it but sat on a bench outside, contemplating it."

"If I may..." She paused and laughed at the frown he gave her. "Sorry, force of habit. Why didn't you enter the place?"

"I don't know precisely...I think it's a mixture of not feeling totally comfortable or worthy of doing that. I'm finding my way back to religion, but it's sort of an uphill battle. Besides, in these early hours, sitting on that bench outside is much more peaceful. I feel closer to God in nature than inside something made by men. So, I just sat there outdoors and prayed."

Silence fell between them, as Vanessa reflected on how much he had changed in terms of spiritualism all those months spent apart.

"I think I understand what you mean. In fact I also do that. There were many times where I went to mass but didn't enter the church. Just sat outside, reflecting, praying and contemplating. It's been a while since I last did that."

Ethan wanted to press on with this subject but was a little bit more curious about their final destination, so he chose to ask about the latter.

"Now, if you don't mind MY asking..." Vanessa looked at him quizzically and started laughing. "Okay okay, I see we are both on the same page here. I won't ask permission again. I was wondering...where are we going?"

"Do you recall last week, when we were talking while you prepared your sister's dessert?" He nodded and she continued explaining. "Remember what I said about honoring the ones that left us and channeling all of our blame, pain and self-loathing into something they would be proud of?" He nodded again and she sighed before speaking again. "Well...there are some days that are harder for me to do that and I can't find peace. After the Grand Guignol incident, Sir Malcolm told me about this place and I've been coming here ever since. At first, it was only for my own peace of mind, but I like the activity of helping those in need. I made some friends and I know this is something Mina would be proud of. It's feeding the people that live on the street. So, maybe, I thought that this is something you could enjoy too; or at least use to start forgiving yourself and, at the same time, help others."

Would this woman ever stop amazing him? Ethan wondered as they walked.

"Thank you Vanessa, for letting me in on this."

She smiled at him and they kept walking a little longer in silence.

"I have another question, and...I know what we said before, but feel free to refuse to answer it. I would never hold it against you. What happened with Mina? Why do you blame yourself so much for her death?"

"This is a long and difficult story. Thank God we decided to go walking instead of using the carriage, so I can tell you the whole thing. You think you are the only one here who has done terrible things, but that's not true. I just...I know that you are the last person who would do this, but please, try not to judge me."

Ethan gave her a nod of encouragement and Vanessa started to tell him everything about her life with Mina.

When she finished, a single tear rolled down her cheek and Ethan wiped it clean with his finger. He stopped both of them in their tracks and made Vanessa face him so that she could see his face. When he squeezed her hand to show support, she looked up at him and he said:

"Vanessa, first and foremost, I don't judge you. I consider all of this a glimpse of what made you who you are today. In my opinion, you did the wrong thing for the right, or at least, the understandable reasons. You were young and that includes some recklessness of the age. Besides, you didn't exactly have good role models to look up to in that matter, if I am completely honest. All you did after the incident was try to save Mina, ask for forgiveness and try to redeem yourself." He paused, and looked at her vehemently, trying to show all the compassion and kindness she deserved. "One last thing...I have seen the best of you and the worst of you Vanessa, and I choose both."

Vanessa, at a loss for words, hugged him tightly and released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. They stayed there, Vanessa's head resting on his broad chest, hanging on to each other for a minute. Vanessa slowly lifted her head and gave Ethan a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. Right after it, not giving Ethan time to react, she grabbed his hand and started walking ahead of him; pulling it like a child dragging his parent around. She said:

"Come on, we're late for serving breakfast and I want to introduce you to a friend."

And they entered the facilities where everything was being organized.

 **A/N:** First and foremost, one of the most important things Ethan says to Vanessa in this chapter comes from a Tumblr Blog. Search on Tumblr the name **vanessaschandler** and then when you are in the blog, copy in the URL the following: post/124982954791/and-i-chose-both-insp-x . It's one of my favorite Tumblr posts; I really recommend you guys to visit this blog. Second, THANK YOU for everyone who: comments, makes suggestions, reviews, RTs and shares "A Fighting Chance". It means the world to me. Third, to the people who want Vanessa and Ethan to be together, hang in there! I'm laying the ground for this. Last but not least, references were made to episodes 1x07 and 2x10.


	5. Chapter 5: You belong with me

_Disclaimer: I wish I owned Penny Dreadful. I would make Eva Green and Josh Harnett act all these chapters._

" _A Fighting Chance" would not be possible without Lea and Mai. Thank you guys so much *hugs* Thank you Carolin also for your contribution to this chapter._

 **Chapter 5: You belong with me**

" _And it's over and I'm going under. But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in." Never Let Me Go – Florence and the Machine_

Ethan was dreading this day ever since he got back from America. He was really devoted to this _no-secrets-let's-share-the-good-and-the-bad_ relationship rule with Vanessa, but that didn't make what he was about to do any easier. He still did not completely trust himself when in werewolf mode and he especially hated putting her in harm's way. However, deep down, he needed someone's help, and there was no one else he could count on more.

Ethan knocked on her bedroom door and entered after hearing her invitation.

"Mr. Chandler" she said, with a smile on her face. "I mean, Ethan..." Containing a laugh. "I was just getting ready to go to the library...do you want to come with me?"

Ethan noticed that Vanessa was gradually becoming less shy on going outside of Grandage place with him, not caring what other people assumed about their relationship status. This warm thought almost diverted his attention from his original intent.

"Yes, that'd be my honor. But first...can I ask you something? I need your help with something Sembene used to give me a hand with."

Vanessa noticed the sadness in his tone of voice and, suppressing the urge to hug him, just nodded so that he could continue.

"I don't know if you realized, but tonight, there's going to be a full moon. I know that I SOMEHOW didn't hurt you the last time this happened, but I still want to take a few precautions. The night of Mr. Gray's ball, which happened to be a full moon, Sembene chained me up in the basement; the restraints did their job and he remained unharmed. I have already reinforced them so all I need you to do, before night fall, is to chain me up and LEAVE." He could not have emphasized that last word enough.

"Ethan, I will do what you ask, but..." Vanessa said.

"No, I know what you are going to say Vanessa: that I never hurt you before in this state and why should you leave me alone in there all night? But let's not take unnecessary risks. I want you safe." Ethan said, interrupting her.

"Well, I don't appreciate being patronized like this but I have to admit I was going to say something like that. Seeing that the _keeping-you-company_ matter is out of the question, I will ask you something else: Was the full moon the reason why you didn't come with me to Mr. Gray's ball?"

Ethan, surprised by this question, took a few moments to answer.

"Well...yeah, at least that was the main reason. I also didn't know how to dance, you taught me how afterwards. Last but not least...I didn't know what that meant for our relationship, so I chickened out. I saw myself as a monster and I didn't feel worthy of you." Ethan said, matching the bluntness of her previous question.

Don't ask questions you feel you are not ready to hear the answer to, Vanessa thought. However, she still liked this new full-honesty approach to their relationship so she replied likewise:

"Okay, thank you for letting me in on this and, also, for allowing me to help you. It was not an easy rejection to swallow, but now it helps me understand you more."

"Do you still wanna go to the library with me?" Ethan asked.

"Yes, definitely. I just need some time to absorb this, that's all. Let's go grab our coats."

"After you ma'am." Ethan joked, signaling with his arm toward her bedroom door.

( )

At dusk, Ethan and Vanessa went to the underground basement at Grandage Place. As Vanessa placed the cuffs around Ethan's wrists and ankles, she said:

"Are you sure you want to spend the whole night alone in here? I firmly believe that you won't attempt to hurt me, but even in that case, you are pretty tied up."

"No, I'm sorry, but no. I prefer not to worry about your safety when I'm a werewolf." He said, sighing at the end.

"Okay, I won't insist anymore. But I just wanted to let you know that I brought some raw meat here, just in case the wolf gets hungry...maybe it will make the whole transformation back to normal less painful..."

Moved by this small gesture, Ethan grabbed her hand and squeezed it in thanks.

( )

After dinner, Vanessa couldn't stand it anymore. She felt extremely helpless. Ethan hadn't made a sound during the transformation, but ever since the full moon rose completely, she hadn't stopped hearing roaring and howling noises. They have been going on and on for the past 3 hours and Vanessa felt that some of those sounds were produced out of loneliness. Therefore, while thinking what excuse to give Ethan afterwards, she headed towards the wolf's location.

She opened the door. The wolf, smelling a new presence, stopped howling, taking an alert posture. Vanessa took a few steps towards him and the wolf started growling. That sound made her stop dead on her tracks and she said:

"Ethan... I know you're still there. I'm not gonna leave you."

The growling continued but Vanessa decided to keep on walking; it was too late for doubts now. She slowly came closer and closer to him but she didn't want to spook him.

"Ethan, Ethan...please. It's me. Vanessa."

As soon as he heard her name and her face came into the light, the wolf made a gesture of recognition and the growling stopped. She was just inches away from him and she carefully lifted her hand and caressed his cheek.

Ethan's first reaction was to freeze. Vanessa was glad he didn't run away. Right afterwards, Vanessa noticed he closed his eyes like he was enjoying the gesture. It seemed like he was about to purr like a cat, sinking his face in her hand. Vanessa knew he would not hurt him, but this left her stunned.

"Good boy, good boy." She said with a smile on her face.

Suddenly, an idea came to her mind. What if he actually understands what she says? She decided to give this a try.

"Ethan." Nothing happened, the wolf kept enjoying her slow caresses.

"Ethan!" She exclaimed a little more loudly to regain his attention.

Ethan opened her eyes and looked directly at her. She took down her hand; could it be possible that he JUST MADE A SAD FACE?

"Ethan, I know you recognize me and I'm certain you won't hurt me. So please, don't get mad at me later for trying this. Ethan howl for me."

Right after she gave the order, the wolf did just that. Vanessa could not believe her eyes.

"Okay, now STOP." He stopped. "Walk two steps back. Walk three steps forward."

Ethan, while in werewolf form, was obeying her. Vanessa couldn't contain her elation; so she jumped, put her arms around the wolf's neck, and gave small kisses all over his face.

The wolf didn't stiffen this time but didn't know what to do. After she finished, he gave her a thankful lick to her cheek. Vanessa started laughing and said:

"Pfff, that's gross but I appreciate the gesture." And gave him a wink.

Vanessa decided to unchain him, so that his wrists could catch a break.

"Ethan I'm gonna lock the door now, so that I can free you. I'm not going anywhere."

She walked away from him and he started howling. Vanessa locked the door as quickly as she could and returned fast to Ethan's side. He stopped howling as soon as she caressed his rough features again.

"Okay, Ethan. Now, stand still so that I can remove the cuffs from your body."

Ethan was still standing like a statue when she finished removing the chains from his body. As she looked for some place remotely comfortable, he started stretching his limbs. A few minutes passed and Vanessa, giving up on her search, sat down on the floor of the basement in a corner close to a wall. Ethan watched her move but he didn't dare follow her until she ordered:

"Ethan, come lay here by my side."

He did exactly that, curling like a ball close to her and laying his head on her legs. She started scratching his back endlessly, still adjusting to this new normal...

( )

As the sun rose, Ethan began to gradually regain consciousness. He felt like a carriage had run all over his body, knowing this situation all too well. Feeling was coming back to him, limb by limb, but something was different this time. There was constant movement on his back. What was that? He was too tired to move his arms to grab whatever was doing that to him, but he decided to give blinking a try.

When his eyes focused and adjusted to the light, he realized his head was lying on someone's legs. He quickly turned around and, with a wave of relief, saw Vanessa looking lovingly at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

"Shhhh. It's okay, you are tired. I will explain everything later once we both have rested on decent beds."

Ethan nodded, his exhaustion noticeable, so he didn't insist. He got up, freeing Vanessa's legs. He was helping her stand up when, suddenly, flashes of the previous night came back to him. Vanessa tried to head to the door but Ethan's firm hands on her hips prevented her from doing so.

"Did you..." He paused, not daring to believe it. "Did you kiss me last night? While I was a wolf?"

"Well..." She said, blushing in the most adorable way. "I was just so happy that you understood me that I got carried away but I promise I..."

Ethan captured Vanessa's lips with his and never let her finish.

They kissed slowly for several minutes, both of them relishing in the feeling of each other. They separated briefly, breathless and placed their foreheads together, both of them giddy with excitement.

Now it was Ethan's turn to caress Vanessa's cheek, and he said:

"You and I both know how this ends. I don't know how or when. I don't care how long it takes for you to trust me again. But what happened last night is another thing that proves the following. WE. BELONG. TOGETHER. I know that and you know that."

Vanessa, still smiling, moved her forehead from his and grabbed Ethan's face with both of her hands. She wanted him to see her eyes clearly when she said the following:

"I believe we have a fighting chance at being happy together Ethan, because I trust you." She paused, letting him absorb what she meant. "Ethan, I do. Wholeheartedly."

And she kissed him again; this time more fiercely, trying to emphasize her point. Suddenly, both of their stomachs made grumbling noises and they broke apart, giggling like teenagers.

"Come on." Ethan said, moving his head towards the direction of the door and grabbing her delicate hand. "Let's go get some breakfast."

( )

 **A/N:** First of all, I made a mistake on the previous author's note. This chapter is where I made references to 1x07 and 2x10; hope you could notice them. Second, I have to give some credits: _Forever Dreaming_ transcript website and the Glee episode 4x14. Third, after I post chapter 6, the chapters will stop following a chronological order and they won't appear as regularly as I've been posting the previous ones. So, to make myself clear, the next chapter will be a _sort-of-ending_ , at least for this story arch. If I get inspired with a new idea about Ethan and Vanessa's relationship, I will write it and post it, but not necessarily in a chronological order. Fourth, again, thank you to everyone who comments, gives reviews, makes suggestions and shares this story. You have no idea HOW much I appreciate it. Last but not least, I know this chapter is a lot fluffier than the previous ones, but I just couldn't help myself.


	6. Chapter 6: Hallelujah

_Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Dreadful._

 _Thank you thank you thank you Carolin and Lea for your usual help. Thanks Mai for your constant support and, in this case, helping me with research for this chapter. Thanks Belunga for helping me with research too. And a special thank you to Euge for your special contribution to this chapter. What you all did means everything to me!_

 **Chapter 6: Hallelujah**

" _An enchanted moment and it sees me through. It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you. And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are. It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer that we got this far" Can you feel the love tonight?-Elton John_

They had spent all day preparing Grandage Place for Christmas with the help of their family and friends. In the afternoon, Ethan accompanied Sir Malcom to run an errand and Vanessa stayed to finish up decorating.

Later in the evening, Vanessa was so immersed watching the snow fall while hanging the last Christmas ornament on the tree that she didn't notice Ethan entering the living room. When he placed his arms around her waist, she made a little jump, startled. Ethan exhaled a short laugh and she turned around in his arms.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said.

"It's okay, I was really distracted by the snow outside," she answered as she leaned in for a kiss.

When they broke apart she asked:

"How was the afternoon with Sir Malcom?"

"Good. I think he didn't need me there to do the paperwork, but he used all this as an excuse to talk to me about my intentions with you. He also threatened to kill me if I ever hurt you again and I gotta say he sounded pretty serious. It took me a while to convince him, but I think I made some progress," he finished with a smirk on his face.

Vanessa breathed out a little laugh and said:

"He loves you like a son, but I'm also his only living daughter so..."

"Yeah, I know, I totally understand where he's coming from. I don't know how I'd act if I ever have a daughter." The idea warmed his heart. "In the end, it was a productive evening for all of us, including you."

"Oh really? And why would you say that?" she teased.

"Well...not only did Sir Malcom give us his blessing but we were invited to a ball," Ethan said with a grin on his face.

"Whose ball is it?" she asked.

"Sir John Stratinsky's ball. He's an acquaintance of Sir Malcom. I don't really care about that, I'm just happy I can finally make it up to you after turning you down on Mr. Gray's ball."

Moved, Vanessa caressed Ethan's cheek and said:

"You've already made it up to me, but I'm glad THIS is our first outing as a couple."

"Yeah and also I can show off my newly-acquired dancing skills."

Vanessa laughed out loud again, slapped his arm and said:

"Okay you tease, you need to get off the high horse and help me prepare dinner." They made their way to the kitchen holding hands.

()

Vanessa was standing by the window in her bedroom, looking out. The sky was grey, filled with clouds; like a mirror to her feelings. The ball had been cancelled at the last minute, since its host had to take an emergency trip to the countryside. Vanessa knew she was being silly, but she couldn't help feeling like this. She had picked out the perfect dress to wear and he had found Ethan a matching bouquet. But what made her the saddest was the fact that her outing with Ethan was ruined.

A knock was heard, and after her invitation Ethan entered the room.

"Hey" he said with a smile on his face.

"Hey" Vanessa answered, feeling a little bit better just by seeing him.

"So...are you ready for tonight?" Ethan asked.

"Ethan come on, you heard Sir Malcom say that the ball was cancelled," Vanessa replied, a little bit exasperated.

Ethan sighed a laugh and answered rather mysteriously: "Yeah, I heard him just fine, but that doesn't mean our plans got cancelled..."

"What?" Vanessa said, surprised. "What are you implying?"

"Just...be ready at 6. With the dress and all. You'll see..." Ethan said mysteriously and winked at her. He gave her a quick kiss and left the room before she could use her power of seduction to get more answers out of him.

()

"One more step...now turn left, walk a few more steps, and give me a second now that I close the door behind you." Ethan said to Vanessa, leading her with both arms on her waist.

She was blindfolded, unable to see a thing. She was wearing a red gown and her hair was tied up with pins. Ethan had a black suit on and a small red rose in his breast pocket.

Hearing the sound of the door closing, Vanessa asked impatiently:

"Can I lose the blindfold now?"

Ethan laughed at her impatience and begged her:

"Please Van, just a few seconds more. I promise it will be worth it."

Vanessa's curiosity was only growing and she was not the biggest fan of surprises; but she felt he was on to something, so she decided to play along for a little bit longer.

Ethan said, rather nervously: "Okay so...I think I never told you this, but I brought back a few things with me from America; things I thought I could use someday. There are not many, most of them are things that remind me of the few happy memories that I had there. And... one of these things I brought it with the hope of enjoying it with you. So..."

Vanessa's face reflected her excitement, the suspense was killing her. She felt Ethan move around and suddenly she started hearing music. Ethan came up behind her and made the fold dissapear.

After being in the dark for so long, Vanessa's eyes took some time to adjust to their new reality. As soon as her eyes could focus, Vanessa noticed she was standing in a room full of candles; they were on the floor, on the furniture, above the piano, and by the window. She turned around, admiring the setting and met Ethan's expectant face.

"Oh Ethan...this is just...the place looks breathtaking," Vanessa said, having a hard time to find the words to describe what she was thinking.

Ethan gave a sigh of relief, and remarked: "Not as breathtaking as you."

Vanessa was surprised he didn't say that with a smirk, trying to make her laugh or seduce her; he actually meant it and that made her blush.

Music was playing on the background, so Ethan asked:

"Would you do me the honor of this dance?"

Vanessa took Ethan's hand and stepped closer to him. He grabbed her by the waist and Vanessa rememberd the first time they did this, out in the moors. Ethan looked confident now and proud to be dancing with her. They started moving around the room, flowing with the music. They danced along several songs, both of them mesmerized with each other; so coordinated that it seemed they had never stopped dancing together all those months apart.

When the music slowed down, they shrank the space between them. Her head was lying on his shoulder and his face was on her hair. They swayed this way for a while, alternating kisses.

Vanessa was so lost in the moment, that when Ethan spoke, at first it seemed he sounded from a far away distance. They separated a little, looking at each other in the eyes.

"Vanessa, I need to tell you something; something I promised myself I would say if I ever got back from America. I thought it mattered where or when I said it, but perfection is a hard thing to get your hands on. So here it is," he paused, giving it a little suspense and acquiring a solemn look and tone of voice.

"From the moment we met, you changed my life. At first, just by giving me a reason to wake up; then, by making my every day more bearable. As much as you tell yourself you're dark, you gave light to my obscure existence; you still do. Your so-called darkness makes you braver and stronger than anyone I've ever met. It's not a flaw. It makes you who you are. My admiration for you turned to love so easily that it took me a while to realize that I had fallen in love with you. I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up. But enough about me, let's go back to you," he stopped, trying to gain the courage he needed to do what he intended.

"If there's a problem you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know we'll survive too. I love you Vanessa Ives. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, for better or for worse. Will you marry me?"

Vanessa froze for a moment, stunned and deeply moved. She had not seen this coming. Not giving her a minute to collect herself, Ethan started talking faster, clearly nervous:

"And let me just say I really think you should. I think you should say yes. But no matter what you say, I want you to know there's no chance I am ever gonna hurt you again. And no matter what you say, I'm gonna be in love with you for the rest of my life. There's no way out of that. That's just a physical law of the universe. You own me. Let me walk with you like you once asked me to. I..."

Vanessa placed two fingers on his mouth, shushing him. She gave her a quizzical expression, telling him that it was her turn now to speak. Ethan nodded and she said:

"Ethan...I knew I did from the moment we met. It was not love at first sight exactly, but familiarity. Like: -Oh Hello, it's you. It's going to be you. Game over." She paused; realizing both of them had a single tear rolling down their faces.

"I know you blame yourself for our relationship not working out before you left to America, but it's my responsability too. I shouldn't have turned you down after our kiss in the moors, but I was scared about the intensity of my feelings. Besides, at that time, I was sure everyone who ever loved me ended up getting hurt so..." Ethan gave her hand a small squeeze of understanding, and that made Vanessa get back on track. She continued, with a dazzling smile on her face:

"When it comes to love I think it's what people always say about the army: You only sign up if it's the only thing you could ever imagine doing. I love you, Ethan Talbot, and I can not imagine spending another moment of my life without you. So yes, I will marry you."

Ethan, smiling so much it hurt his face, took out the ring that was hiding in his breast pocket and placed it delicately on Vanessa's finger. They kissed fiercely, Vanessa's hands around Ethan's neck and Ethan's hands around Vanessa's waist; both of them relishing with the thought of their future together as a married couple.

()

" _We've come so far my dear. Look how we've grown. And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old." Say you won't let go-James Arthur_

()

 **A/N:** A lot of things to say after this chapter. First of all, I know it's very fluffy, but I really couldn't help myself. Writing the proposal was really challenging but also fun. I tried to use some of my favorite fictional proposals and at the same time make it sound like Vanessa and Ethan; I hope this doesn't sound very out of character to you guys. Considering that we are in the proposal subject, I have to give credits to everything that inspired me to write it (though not all of them were proposals): Grey's Anatomy, Smallville, The Newsroom, The Silver Linings Playbook and one of my favorite quotes ever from Mhairi McFarlane. If you want any of the original texts before mentioned, don't hesitate to ask me. Second, a small reference was made to the Ethan and Vanessa's goodbye scene on 2x10, I hope you guys could tell. Third, I can't say thank you enough to everyone who read but especially for anyone who ever shared, RT, commented, reviewed or suggested things to make the story better (Huge hug goes to you all).

Last but not least, this is sort of the last chapter, at least of this "healing" story arch. I will post more chapters eventually, but not as often and most probably not in a chronological order. I need a break right now, but as soon as I come up with new ideas, and find the time to write them, I will definitely do it (Suggestions always welcomed!). This year in the Penny Dreadful fandom was extremely unexpected in many ways (starting with the SHITTIEST FINALE OF ALL TIME) but it encouraged me to write and defeat my own self prejudices and fears, so I'm really grateful for it. All in all, I'm really glad I did this and I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected. I hope I did some justice and fixing to Ethan's but especially Vanessa's storyline, they both deserved better.


End file.
